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同志那些事

Zackal

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zackalgg@hotmail.com
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June 26

Ring my bell...

收拾房子准备搬家,倏然发现我有多达八条之多的电话线,长度从三米到十米不等。

对于我这种连座机都没有的人,我能想到这些电话线最浪漫的作用,就是和你一起慢慢S/M...

Enrique Iglesias 唱:Ring my bells, ring my bells, sometimes you love it, sometimes you don't... 哦也

http://homepage.freenet.de/images/11/enriqueiglesiasphotopage/enriqueiglesiasphotopage95627.jpg

Ring my bell ring my bells 
Ring my bell ring my bells
Ring my bell ring my bells
Ring my bell ring my bells

Sometimes you love it
Sometimes you don't
Sometimes you need it
Then you don't and you let go

Sometimes we rush it
Sometimes we fall
It doesn't matter baby
We can take it real slow

Cause the way that we touch
Is something that we can't deny
And the way that you move
Oh you make me feel alive
Now come on

Ring my bell ring my bells
Ring my bell ring my bells

You try to hide it
I know you do
When all you really want
Is me to come and get you

You move in closer
I feel you breathe
It's like the world just disappears
When you're around me
Oh

Cause the way that we touch
Is something that we can't deny
Oh yeah
And the way that you move
Oh you make me feel alive
So come on

And ring my bell ring my bells
Ring my bell ring my bells
Ring my bell ring my bells
Ring my bell ring my bells

I say you want
I say you need
I can tell by your face
You love the way it turns me on

I say you want
I say you need
I will do what it takes
And I would never do you wrong

Cause the way that we love
Is something that we can't fight
Oh no
I just can't get enough
Oh you make me feel alive
So come on

Ring my bell ring my bells
Ring my bell ring my bells

I say you want
I say you need
I can tell by the way you're looking at me
I turn you on

I say you want
I say you need
If you have what it takes
We don't have to wait
Let's get it on

Get it on!

Ring my bell ring my bells
Ring my bell ring my bells

February 24

How do you deal with damage goods

 

像崩了口的碗,不留神刮了你口;

像裂了丝的筷子,不小心扎了你手;

像蹭毛了的玻璃,水一干就人影模糊;

像起了球的毛衣,冷不丁就放出静电。

 

那些硌的硬的往事,像米饭里粒粒沙子石头。

January 22

洗牙记

因为怕痛,所以很少洗牙;因为很少洗,所以就更痛……

当那股子如刮玻璃如擦锈铁的声音直接从脑中传来,一阵阵刺痛逼迫着我把嘴张开再张开,我终于忍不住浑身发抖,像大虾一样蜷起身子,高举手掌示意医生暂停。“怎么?很疼吗?要不要我再给你打点麻药?”医生不屑地说。“不,不用了,我觉得这更多是心理原因。”我羞愧地承认,悄悄抹去眼角不争气的湿气。

心病还需心药医,我决定使用周星驰秘授的注意力转移大法——啊,一个帅哥,两个!三个猛男!在吱哇乱响的噪音中,我开始幻想一些非常重口味重工业重度儿童不宜的画面。哦也,这不是牙钻,是按摩棒的马达声!这不是牙医椅,是全自动多功能的快乐摇椅!这不是……在美好的幻想中,我清楚地感觉到血液从头部回流,经过脊椎,又在小腹汇聚。啊,这暖洋洋的感觉!疼痛,似乎也减轻了。

“张嘴!”牙医一声暴喝,把我拉回现实。——啊为什么?为什么为什么?!为什么我一兴奋就有咬嘴唇的毛病?!——幻想破灭了,痛苦的生活在继续……5555……

January 20

革命无路

1997_titanic_wallpaper_004 

金童玉女不死,就变成痴男怨女。——《革命之路》找来《泰坦尼克》的男女主角,给大家完美演绎这个故事。

  revolutionary_road_haut

很多台词简直是在恶意地映射和搞笑:

凯特温斯莱说:你不就是在一个趴踢上逗我笑过吗?

她又说:我一直就觉得我们应该倍儿特别,具体啥样不知道,反正就该是不一样的牛逼

然后她把跟迪卡普里奥第一次的做爱跟勇赴战场相比。

 

更恶毒的是导演把所有的做爱场面都拍到超短

没有前戏,没有气氛,连上衣都不脱

用一个没有悬念的长镜头一气呵成,清清楚楚地告诉大家丫就是这么短

手淫还短,跟早泄差不多,还都不接吻

——这残暴的现实

 

无非自我,本我,超我

无非该做的,要做的,想做的

打到遍体鳞伤,天使落入凡尘

生活的本质,不仅空虚,兼且无望

 

难怪某港版《绝代双骄》里,潇洒漂亮的‘郎情妾意剑’到头来,远敌不过‘奸夫淫妇剑’泼辣直接。吴孟达叶德娴?果然所向披靡无敌。

January 15

西游上海

在上海的最后一日,我醒来,朋友们的电话都不通。阳光明媚,我就这样空着双手出门去,不带照相机,逛进美术馆。

马良的作品是意外之喜。

——非常纯,非常妖,非常荒诞,非常少年文艺,非常儿童文学。

200833113647796

20079418153781

20075922845750

2008122134341114

最后这一幅叫‘西游记’。璀璨妖异,奇诡天真,我觉得真是贴切极了!

然后Larry电话叫我去新天地晒太阳。我们在咖啡厅转了三圈找不到落脚的地方,一屋子刚刚从昨夜笙歌热舞中华丽地醒来的大小同志,眼神犹如万千灼灼激光,照妖镜般照得我们原形毕露,无地自容。

——唉,诗里怎么说?金猴奋起千钧棒,只缘妖孽又重来?

——只怕这些妖孽,却都是不怕棒的吧……